On the eve of Thanksgiving (TG) Day what a horror story to take to bed! Mumbai had been attacked by a pack of terrorists in nearly a dozen places. Though at the end the powers that be seem to come ahead, overall it's the terrorists who are a step or several steps ahead of the rest. Even as the latest challenge to peace loving people is being dealt with, and except for one attacker all others have been killed, there is no doubt that terrorists are planning a whole new attack some place in the world on scores more of innocent people.
The post 62-hour mayhem and carnage in India between November 26-29 investigation points the blame in different directions, but what's clear is the country's intelligence has failed. The Times of India editor Bachi Kakaria (I came to know about her through her phone interview on CNN over the Mumbai Massacre) put it so succinctly when tongue-in-cheek she said, "For a country that wants to be a knowledge power intelligence is its least valued commodity." Well, The U.S. is a knowledge power, yet it too has failed on several occasions, 9/11 being one of the more tragic.
In the case of 11/26 (I've come to dread the number 11 and in my family there are a lot of eleven's: at least three people in the family share this number somewhere in their birthday) apparently, ample warning had been issued by the terrorists about eight days earlier. The Home Minsiter Patil's or the Security Chief's resignation cannot turn the clock back to when they should have paid heed.
Why is it that officials who are paid to protect the people let us down over and over again? The terrorists know how incompetent many of them are and this is why they are succeeding over and over again with such impunity. Every time the so called leaders condemn terrorist acts, I can't but chuckle. Do they think the terrorists really give a hoot? Are their pronouncements meant to pacify the public outrage? What exactly is the intent? Community organizations also echo the same sissy pronouncements.
What's most important now is for leaders to make it their immediate goal to eradicate terrorism. This sounds unattainable, though, considering how well the "Eradicate Poverty" slogan has worked. I'm supposed to sound optimistic (you know the power of positive thinking, etc.), but somehow I don't think the really capable people are ruling the world. Maybe the really capable became terrorists!
All aspersions aside, I do feel every one of us need to do our part because in the words of the German poet, Pastor Martin Niemöller's
habe ich geschwiegen;ich war ja kein Kommunist.Als sie die Sozialdemokraten einsperrten,habe ich geschwiegen;ich war ja kein Sozialdemokrat.Als sie die Gewerkschafter holten,habe ich nicht protestiert;ich war ja kein Gewerkschafter.Als sie mich holten,gab es keinen mehr, der protestieren konnte.-----------------------------------------------------
Translation:
When the Nazis came for the communists,I remained silent;after all I was not a communist.When they locked up the social democrats,I remained silent;after all I was not a social democrat.When they came for the trade unionists,I did not speak out;after all I was not a trade unionist.When they came for me,there was no one left to speak out.
When they come for me there would be nobody left to speak out!
My part begins with simple acts like treating those around me with basic decency at all times. No matter how stupid, arrogant, indifferent they maybe, I must never ever lose my cool. If each one of us can consciously do this, we'd already be on the path to conquering the bigger issues. As individuals, because we have not acted above board at all times, we have not acquired the power to fight the bigger tasks like eradicating poverty, terrorism, injustice, et al. No wonder, we don't think we can do these big jobs. Even those who think they can have failed. Like many drops make an ocean, many acts of right conduct will take us all the way to our destination. Driving ten feet at a time one can reach one's end point. I can't remember which great person said this. I think it was one U.S. President.
Let's begin our share toward making this world a better place today! Onward and upward.
Ciao!
Ro.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
India's Leadership
My friend from US-India Friendship (http://usindiafriendship.net/ ) mass mailed me the following link http://www.indianexpress.com/news/enough-with-the-diffidence/387850/ . The e-mail also contained the following excerpts:
"Despite the chest-thumping in recent years about India emerging as a major global power, its strategic and political elites display an insecurity that defies explanation. A powerful, self-confident nation should be able to articulate a coherent vision about its priorities and national interests.
"The visible lack of self-confidence among Indian elites in their nation’s ability to leverage the international system to its advantage will only weaken India. India should assess its interests carefully and learn to stand up for them.
" India is too big, too proud and too significant a global player to worry about Obama’s phone call. Its sights should be on the real challenges to its interests and it should work towards preserving and enhancing them, without any apologies or explanations."
The context for this Op-Ed piece: Apparently the Indian government felt snubbed by the time he took to phone Mr. Manmohan Singh.
My own quickie, two cent’s worth of response to the theme of self-confidence in this piece or lack thereof was:
The Indian bureaucratic mind is well . . . too bureaucratic. Everything is suspect and unfortunately, only an open mind can soar high like an eagle. Otherwise, we'll continue to stew in our own inward looking ways and be a bunch of turkeys.
How much money India has spent on American PR firms! who seldom delivered. I don't know the exact stats. but tourist dollars going to India is very low other than what the NRI's spend.
There is also always this smug attitude: Oh, India is a great country, we are an old civilization, so there is no need for us to learn much. Only recently the West discovered that the world is round, we knew it three thousand years ago.
Smugness, false modesty and misplaced reverence among a slew of other ills are India's downfall.
Of course, there are some industrial giants and technology titans but unless at the top of the government there is more than lip service to encouraging people of all kinds of talent, we can never fully exhibit our full potential and thus never feel self-confident enough. Bravado is very different from self-confidence. Smugness leads to bravado.
Yeah, about a million people out of a billion plus are enjoying a high standard of living. This too thanks mostly to the handouts from the West. What is India's original contribution to today's world? If we cannot identify this and more importantly others cannot, how can we possibly feel self-confident?
When PM Manmohan Singh talks, do you think it's possible to stay tuned to him for more than two seconds? Why does he have such a servile appearance?
India has a long way to go. Its problems are multi-layered.
The response I got was: Have you met any of India's senior diplomats to assess their performance? About Manmohan Singh and the other things you refer to, I think you are being over-critical.
My response to this was:
I'm of the belief "all criticism is constructive." As for being over-critical, this is an area that needs honest assessment to make any progress. Indeed, it's just my opinion and I'm also of the opinion that had the powers that be been more critical, we (I'm referring to the U.S. here as I'm more plugged into the scene here) wouldn't be in the kinds of mess on various fronts that we are in.
Harsh Pant's own op-ed piece was a criticism of India being "over-critical" if you will over the delayed phone call from Obama (btw, isn't the victor first supposed to get a congratulatory call form foreign leaders?).
My association with Indian diplomats and bureaucrats began at birth. More recently, I have stayed away.
I think I'll blog on this topic.
And I did just now.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Ciao!
Ro.
"Despite the chest-thumping in recent years about India emerging as a major global power, its strategic and political elites display an insecurity that defies explanation. A powerful, self-confident nation should be able to articulate a coherent vision about its priorities and national interests.
"The visible lack of self-confidence among Indian elites in their nation’s ability to leverage the international system to its advantage will only weaken India. India should assess its interests carefully and learn to stand up for them.
" India is too big, too proud and too significant a global player to worry about Obama’s phone call. Its sights should be on the real challenges to its interests and it should work towards preserving and enhancing them, without any apologies or explanations."
The context for this Op-Ed piece: Apparently the Indian government felt snubbed by the time he took to phone Mr. Manmohan Singh.
My own quickie, two cent’s worth of response to the theme of self-confidence in this piece or lack thereof was:
The Indian bureaucratic mind is well . . . too bureaucratic. Everything is suspect and unfortunately, only an open mind can soar high like an eagle. Otherwise, we'll continue to stew in our own inward looking ways and be a bunch of turkeys.
How much money India has spent on American PR firms! who seldom delivered. I don't know the exact stats. but tourist dollars going to India is very low other than what the NRI's spend.
There is also always this smug attitude: Oh, India is a great country, we are an old civilization, so there is no need for us to learn much. Only recently the West discovered that the world is round, we knew it three thousand years ago.
Smugness, false modesty and misplaced reverence among a slew of other ills are India's downfall.
Of course, there are some industrial giants and technology titans but unless at the top of the government there is more than lip service to encouraging people of all kinds of talent, we can never fully exhibit our full potential and thus never feel self-confident enough. Bravado is very different from self-confidence. Smugness leads to bravado.
Yeah, about a million people out of a billion plus are enjoying a high standard of living. This too thanks mostly to the handouts from the West. What is India's original contribution to today's world? If we cannot identify this and more importantly others cannot, how can we possibly feel self-confident?
When PM Manmohan Singh talks, do you think it's possible to stay tuned to him for more than two seconds? Why does he have such a servile appearance?
India has a long way to go. Its problems are multi-layered.
The response I got was: Have you met any of India's senior diplomats to assess their performance? About Manmohan Singh and the other things you refer to, I think you are being over-critical.
My response to this was:
I'm of the belief "all criticism is constructive." As for being over-critical, this is an area that needs honest assessment to make any progress. Indeed, it's just my opinion and I'm also of the opinion that had the powers that be been more critical, we (I'm referring to the U.S. here as I'm more plugged into the scene here) wouldn't be in the kinds of mess on various fronts that we are in.
Harsh Pant's own op-ed piece was a criticism of India being "over-critical" if you will over the delayed phone call from Obama (btw, isn't the victor first supposed to get a congratulatory call form foreign leaders?).
My association with Indian diplomats and bureaucrats began at birth. More recently, I have stayed away.
I think I'll blog on this topic.
And I did just now.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Ciao!
Ro.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
In the face of challenges
November 25, 2008
I am going through some interesting challenges right now. But I have lived long enough to finally realize that where there is water there will be waves and where there is life there will be challenges.
Not even a leaf’s life is exempt from this. But somehow the leaf manages to stay on the branch except for when the force it has to resist overtakes it. So, in my case, too, this would be the ultimate challenge. Though I wish that I’d know in advance what my next challenge would be or when my present ones will find an answer, I’ve also come to realize that as long as I know how to manage them without breaking down I’m one step ahead of my challenges.
A psychiatrist-friend after listening to my current challenges and also having first hand direct knowledge of them writes, "I admire your strength for being able to persevere in the midst of such difficulties. Please continue to be mindful of your own sanity :-), and know that I am always here if you ever need someone to talk to."
I chuckle not because his admiration is not sincere (though in my case, being admired for helping others deal with their challenges is what I’d consider truly worth admiring) but because these words also convey pity even if only unintentionally. For whatever reason, pity to me is, well, pitiable. I don’t handle pity too well.
However, going beyond my initial reaction along these lines, I do ponder how I have stood my ground like that struggling leaf against strong winds trying to take it down. Now, if I analyze the intent of the wind’s blowing I conclude that it’s not its intention to take down the leaf but just its response to atmospheric pressures. This is how our own challenges too brew.
Returning to how I have stood my ground, I decide that for me to be strong not just for myself but also for those who depend on me for their own sanity, too, I must see myself as an instrument that must keep fit at all times. Like a musical instrument that must be kept tuned to produce pleasant notes, I need to keep myself tuned.
To accomplish this, one of the firsts in my life was to enroll in a gym and this is my fourth year (just recently I upgraded to a high-impact gym closer to home). Then look at all the things I enjoy doing and begin to fine tune each one of them and then share it with whoever else might share these interests. The synergy that forms by surrounding oneself with people with common goals, value systems and similar styles of execution is like adding one and one and getting not 2 but eleven. 1+1=11!
Finally, I also added 15 minutes of meditation (read October 27 post) to my day and this too has added to keeping myself tuned.
When we are stressed out (many of the stresses can be avoided but then again life is filled with curve balls and thus one can never predict what life has in store), it’s very easy to feel lost. Some even lose control and end up doing extremely untoward things. So, instead of waiting till stress enters our life and then try to deal with it, and often fail, the better thing to do would be to be ready to deal with it at all times.
Stay physically fit, follow your passions and throw in a little meditation. This is the recipe that has worked for me through all the recent storms in my life. Prior to discovering this recipe, the external storms produced even stronger inner storms, but now at least the inner ones are kept at bay. And, this is no small victory.
Carpe Diem!
Ro.
I am going through some interesting challenges right now. But I have lived long enough to finally realize that where there is water there will be waves and where there is life there will be challenges.
Not even a leaf’s life is exempt from this. But somehow the leaf manages to stay on the branch except for when the force it has to resist overtakes it. So, in my case, too, this would be the ultimate challenge. Though I wish that I’d know in advance what my next challenge would be or when my present ones will find an answer, I’ve also come to realize that as long as I know how to manage them without breaking down I’m one step ahead of my challenges.
A psychiatrist-friend after listening to my current challenges and also having first hand direct knowledge of them writes, "I admire your strength for being able to persevere in the midst of such difficulties. Please continue to be mindful of your own sanity :-), and know that I am always here if you ever need someone to talk to."
I chuckle not because his admiration is not sincere (though in my case, being admired for helping others deal with their challenges is what I’d consider truly worth admiring) but because these words also convey pity even if only unintentionally. For whatever reason, pity to me is, well, pitiable. I don’t handle pity too well.
However, going beyond my initial reaction along these lines, I do ponder how I have stood my ground like that struggling leaf against strong winds trying to take it down. Now, if I analyze the intent of the wind’s blowing I conclude that it’s not its intention to take down the leaf but just its response to atmospheric pressures. This is how our own challenges too brew.
Returning to how I have stood my ground, I decide that for me to be strong not just for myself but also for those who depend on me for their own sanity, too, I must see myself as an instrument that must keep fit at all times. Like a musical instrument that must be kept tuned to produce pleasant notes, I need to keep myself tuned.
To accomplish this, one of the firsts in my life was to enroll in a gym and this is my fourth year (just recently I upgraded to a high-impact gym closer to home). Then look at all the things I enjoy doing and begin to fine tune each one of them and then share it with whoever else might share these interests. The synergy that forms by surrounding oneself with people with common goals, value systems and similar styles of execution is like adding one and one and getting not 2 but eleven. 1+1=11!
Finally, I also added 15 minutes of meditation (read October 27 post) to my day and this too has added to keeping myself tuned.
When we are stressed out (many of the stresses can be avoided but then again life is filled with curve balls and thus one can never predict what life has in store), it’s very easy to feel lost. Some even lose control and end up doing extremely untoward things. So, instead of waiting till stress enters our life and then try to deal with it, and often fail, the better thing to do would be to be ready to deal with it at all times.
Stay physically fit, follow your passions and throw in a little meditation. This is the recipe that has worked for me through all the recent storms in my life. Prior to discovering this recipe, the external storms produced even stronger inner storms, but now at least the inner ones are kept at bay. And, this is no small victory.
Carpe Diem!
Ro.
Monday, November 24, 2008
George Harrison, Generations
November 24, 2008
Friday November 21 night tribute to George Harrison at Hofstra was superb. Hofstra prof. of Hinduism Mr. Greene, a friend of George Harrison's made the show come alive with his easy manners, gift of the gab and fabulously lively personality. The band was a bit too loud but the music was still wonderful. It was house full but B&I had gone early enough, so found good seats.
Spent Saturday with Bernie and Janet and went over to their get-way place in Long Beach right on the ocean. Breathtaking Sunset over the horizon, something B&I enjoy all through summer during our evening power walk on the boardwalk. Went to Da Vinci's for dinner. Very nice place. Fabulous extreme salad and extreme dessert. Worked harder at the gym on Sunday morning under the hood of extreme weather.
Sunday afternoon actually found time to read the day's NY Times on the same day! Later did some local shopping (veges, fruits et al.), found a couple of things that I needed like a pair of new headphones, leggings, et al. At night got busy with a long phone call, a pretty unusual thing for me, but this was an exception even for its content and the person at the other end. Some of it was about life's unexpected curve balls. This prompted me to post the following piece (about a thousand words long) I wrote early part of summer for a fund raising publication:
Generations
By
Dr. Rohini B. Ramanathan
May 2008
It is said that grandchildren and grandparents are the best of friends because they have a common enemy! The "enemy" being the middle generation that bestowed upon these two generations their "grandness." In other words, this sandwich generation—sometimes I feel like road kill--is not necessarily venerated by either one of its beneficiaries. Then again, service is about not expecting anything in return.
Modern science has prolonged life expectancy, and one should feel extremely grateful for this. By the same token, while medicines and other related life-sustaining technology might prolong life, they have not necessarily increased the quality of life. If all one is doing is trying to stay alive and nothing more, as evident from the inordinate amount of energy that goes into this and the billions of dollars spent by consumers on mainly life-sustaining medicines, when does one really live?
Now in their seventies, my own parents, once the most productive, even as others of their generation had wound down or put away the shingles, seem at this point in their lives to be focused on simply staying alive. Making sure their medicine cabinets are fully stocked at all times. This shocks me to no end, even as I celebrate the value of my pharmaceutical stock price go up. Of course, medicines can also do only so much. Some of them in fact seem to do more harm than good what with their inevitable side effects. Life is not meant to offer simple solutions.
In business, the seller knows that half the money spent on advertising is a waste, but the classic dilemma is, not knowing, which half! Similarly, in medicine, too, once you become dependent on it, there is no way of getting off it seems.
We adult children of the sandwich generation feel helpless to fix all the problems facing the older generation, health issues leading the way. On a daily basis, through our parents who are getting older and less vital, mortality stares us in the face. Life turns into taking care of our parents as if they were our children and we are their parents.
When one is in his/her twenties, it feels glamorous to think that one day we’d be taking care of our parents. I even wrote about this feeling in The New York Times. But once this comes close to becoming a reality and we are not in our twenties anymore, taking care of our parents during their golden (more like rusty) years doesn’t feel so glamorous anymore. It feels more like a chore. Added to this is the fact we had to put many of our dreams on hold because we were taking care of our offspring, the next generation, that is.
After investing your prime in raising your offspring and hoping to step away from this role, you’re told by the media that this Generation Y, a.k.a. the millennial generation is looking not necessarily for a job (easier to define and get) anymore, but fulfillment (less easy to define and find). They seem to wish to master the infinite before the finite. This is one of the smartest generations to come along and indeed their take on life makes sense. But, it’s also a fact that they are able to talk about fulfillment not under a Bodhi Tree, but in the safe confines and comfort of their parents’ support. How interesting and what a luxury!
Just like their ancestors from the Buddha’s generation, even without the material comforts of modern day life, asked in the Sanskrit tongue, "Tatah kim? What next? Or the Greek philosophers insisted on leading an examined life, today, Gen. Y echoes these same sentiments.
Caught between the older generation that reaps the benefits of modern science and technology and the post-modern generation Y raised on "Don’t worry, Be happy" kind of anthems, the sandwich generation sometimes wants to go and hide somewhere.
In the traditional way of life, extended families were/are the norm. On other hand, modern lifestyle with its focus more on self-fulfillment and individual self-expression is at odds with these traditional mores. Now each generation has expectations for itself and they are seldom in sync with one another, though the expectations themselves are not unique to one generation.
Love for a healthy and long life and fulfilling activities in life, and living one’s dreams are universal desires. The disconnect comes when the balance of responsibilities are more on one generation than another, in this case, the sandwich generation. Some folks of this generation have found solutions by sending their parents away to Old People’s Homes, Nursing Homes, etc., and throwing out the younger generation to fend for itself ready or not. For the others who see life as shades of gray, such cut-and-dry solutions don’t seem to be the right approach.
Life is not supposed to be perfect, it’s supposed to be punctuated by moral dilemmas, which means lot of soul searching, which in turn, means, serving non stop until so called solutions show up on their own. Until then, life one day is a picnic but one just doesn’t know about the next.
Living with multiple generations, even with all its neurosis, is still fun, however. Here, even a short or small respite goes a very long way, and even a little free time is never taken for granted. All that’s needed to enjoy the upside is to change one’s paradigm and look at life as being half full.
A friend wonders if when she gets old, would her children take care of her? I am unable to imagine ever being in a situation where I’d be at the mercy of my children. I tell my friend that I doubt I’d ever want my children to focus their energies on me. I want to look at people in their 90’s who run the marathon as my example. Never mind I‘ve never run a single marathon ever.
Another friend tells me about his 90-year-old, fit-as-fiddle mother living in an assisted-living home, using the most colorful language one can imagine, cursing at two late comers to the Passover Party at her facility for being late. We all laugh. Now, that’s the spirit I want to possess when I’m 90!
Ciao!
Ro.
Friday November 21 night tribute to George Harrison at Hofstra was superb. Hofstra prof. of Hinduism Mr. Greene, a friend of George Harrison's made the show come alive with his easy manners, gift of the gab and fabulously lively personality. The band was a bit too loud but the music was still wonderful. It was house full but B&I had gone early enough, so found good seats.
Spent Saturday with Bernie and Janet and went over to their get-way place in Long Beach right on the ocean. Breathtaking Sunset over the horizon, something B&I enjoy all through summer during our evening power walk on the boardwalk. Went to Da Vinci's for dinner. Very nice place. Fabulous extreme salad and extreme dessert. Worked harder at the gym on Sunday morning under the hood of extreme weather.
Sunday afternoon actually found time to read the day's NY Times on the same day! Later did some local shopping (veges, fruits et al.), found a couple of things that I needed like a pair of new headphones, leggings, et al. At night got busy with a long phone call, a pretty unusual thing for me, but this was an exception even for its content and the person at the other end. Some of it was about life's unexpected curve balls. This prompted me to post the following piece (about a thousand words long) I wrote early part of summer for a fund raising publication:
Generations
By
Dr. Rohini B. Ramanathan
May 2008
It is said that grandchildren and grandparents are the best of friends because they have a common enemy! The "enemy" being the middle generation that bestowed upon these two generations their "grandness." In other words, this sandwich generation—sometimes I feel like road kill--is not necessarily venerated by either one of its beneficiaries. Then again, service is about not expecting anything in return.
Modern science has prolonged life expectancy, and one should feel extremely grateful for this. By the same token, while medicines and other related life-sustaining technology might prolong life, they have not necessarily increased the quality of life. If all one is doing is trying to stay alive and nothing more, as evident from the inordinate amount of energy that goes into this and the billions of dollars spent by consumers on mainly life-sustaining medicines, when does one really live?
Now in their seventies, my own parents, once the most productive, even as others of their generation had wound down or put away the shingles, seem at this point in their lives to be focused on simply staying alive. Making sure their medicine cabinets are fully stocked at all times. This shocks me to no end, even as I celebrate the value of my pharmaceutical stock price go up. Of course, medicines can also do only so much. Some of them in fact seem to do more harm than good what with their inevitable side effects. Life is not meant to offer simple solutions.
In business, the seller knows that half the money spent on advertising is a waste, but the classic dilemma is, not knowing, which half! Similarly, in medicine, too, once you become dependent on it, there is no way of getting off it seems.
We adult children of the sandwich generation feel helpless to fix all the problems facing the older generation, health issues leading the way. On a daily basis, through our parents who are getting older and less vital, mortality stares us in the face. Life turns into taking care of our parents as if they were our children and we are their parents.
When one is in his/her twenties, it feels glamorous to think that one day we’d be taking care of our parents. I even wrote about this feeling in The New York Times. But once this comes close to becoming a reality and we are not in our twenties anymore, taking care of our parents during their golden (more like rusty) years doesn’t feel so glamorous anymore. It feels more like a chore. Added to this is the fact we had to put many of our dreams on hold because we were taking care of our offspring, the next generation, that is.
After investing your prime in raising your offspring and hoping to step away from this role, you’re told by the media that this Generation Y, a.k.a. the millennial generation is looking not necessarily for a job (easier to define and get) anymore, but fulfillment (less easy to define and find). They seem to wish to master the infinite before the finite. This is one of the smartest generations to come along and indeed their take on life makes sense. But, it’s also a fact that they are able to talk about fulfillment not under a Bodhi Tree, but in the safe confines and comfort of their parents’ support. How interesting and what a luxury!
Just like their ancestors from the Buddha’s generation, even without the material comforts of modern day life, asked in the Sanskrit tongue, "Tatah kim? What next? Or the Greek philosophers insisted on leading an examined life, today, Gen. Y echoes these same sentiments.
Caught between the older generation that reaps the benefits of modern science and technology and the post-modern generation Y raised on "Don’t worry, Be happy" kind of anthems, the sandwich generation sometimes wants to go and hide somewhere.
In the traditional way of life, extended families were/are the norm. On other hand, modern lifestyle with its focus more on self-fulfillment and individual self-expression is at odds with these traditional mores. Now each generation has expectations for itself and they are seldom in sync with one another, though the expectations themselves are not unique to one generation.
Love for a healthy and long life and fulfilling activities in life, and living one’s dreams are universal desires. The disconnect comes when the balance of responsibilities are more on one generation than another, in this case, the sandwich generation. Some folks of this generation have found solutions by sending their parents away to Old People’s Homes, Nursing Homes, etc., and throwing out the younger generation to fend for itself ready or not. For the others who see life as shades of gray, such cut-and-dry solutions don’t seem to be the right approach.
Life is not supposed to be perfect, it’s supposed to be punctuated by moral dilemmas, which means lot of soul searching, which in turn, means, serving non stop until so called solutions show up on their own. Until then, life one day is a picnic but one just doesn’t know about the next.
Living with multiple generations, even with all its neurosis, is still fun, however. Here, even a short or small respite goes a very long way, and even a little free time is never taken for granted. All that’s needed to enjoy the upside is to change one’s paradigm and look at life as being half full.
A friend wonders if when she gets old, would her children take care of her? I am unable to imagine ever being in a situation where I’d be at the mercy of my children. I tell my friend that I doubt I’d ever want my children to focus their energies on me. I want to look at people in their 90’s who run the marathon as my example. Never mind I‘ve never run a single marathon ever.
Another friend tells me about his 90-year-old, fit-as-fiddle mother living in an assisted-living home, using the most colorful language one can imagine, cursing at two late comers to the Passover Party at her facility for being late. We all laugh. Now, that’s the spirit I want to possess when I’m 90!
Ciao!
Ro.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Fall in Downstate New York, Fantasies
November 20, 2008
In my mind , the crisp, not-too-cold yet, so enjoy it all you can while it lasts fall weather, throws up among other images, the scene at Rockefeller Center in the city. Though this year Christmas preparations seem to have started sooner than usual (to counter the cheerlessness brought about by the economy?) the Christmas tree and the opening of the ice skating rink at the Center are still a week away.
Like many other lives, my life too is made of many fulfilled and many not-yet-realized dreams even though some of it has been a total surprise. This some of it has been beyond my wildest dreams, yet there is one dream (probably unrealizable) I have left. Being a fairly realistic person, I don't fantasize much, but one fantasy I do have is to be able to skate at Rockefeller Center.
A friend of mine, a polio victim, made of a different ilk than mine, who can barely walk without support, dared to learn ice skating as an adult. I marveled at this even as I could relate to the pain he experienced every time he fell on the rink which were numerous times as reported by him. I'm not sure if he ever mastered this skill. He still enjoyed the experience because this is who he is. Nothing deters him from doing what he wants to do.
Me, on the other hand, bold as I am, I still detest physical pain. There is no way I can learn to skate without falling numerous times, so I'll have to be content just with watching others sail across on that icy sheet of wonder. Yes, many of the skaters do fall but they probably don't mind.
This is the flaw I have. Unless I can do something fairly remarkably well, I refuse to even try. This is why most things I do even now began for me when I was very young.
Yes, it'd be wonderful to turn the clock back and start all over again. Relive most of my life, delete a few things and add a few others like ice skating.
Ciao!
Ro.
In my mind , the crisp, not-too-cold yet, so enjoy it all you can while it lasts fall weather, throws up among other images, the scene at Rockefeller Center in the city. Though this year Christmas preparations seem to have started sooner than usual (to counter the cheerlessness brought about by the economy?) the Christmas tree and the opening of the ice skating rink at the Center are still a week away.
Like many other lives, my life too is made of many fulfilled and many not-yet-realized dreams even though some of it has been a total surprise. This some of it has been beyond my wildest dreams, yet there is one dream (probably unrealizable) I have left. Being a fairly realistic person, I don't fantasize much, but one fantasy I do have is to be able to skate at Rockefeller Center.
A friend of mine, a polio victim, made of a different ilk than mine, who can barely walk without support, dared to learn ice skating as an adult. I marveled at this even as I could relate to the pain he experienced every time he fell on the rink which were numerous times as reported by him. I'm not sure if he ever mastered this skill. He still enjoyed the experience because this is who he is. Nothing deters him from doing what he wants to do.
Me, on the other hand, bold as I am, I still detest physical pain. There is no way I can learn to skate without falling numerous times, so I'll have to be content just with watching others sail across on that icy sheet of wonder. Yes, many of the skaters do fall but they probably don't mind.
This is the flaw I have. Unless I can do something fairly remarkably well, I refuse to even try. This is why most things I do even now began for me when I was very young.
Yes, it'd be wonderful to turn the clock back and start all over again. Relive most of my life, delete a few things and add a few others like ice skating.
Ciao!
Ro.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Diversity
November 19, 2008
Yesterday morning at Carlyle on the Green, a restaurant in Bethpage State park, the fifth annual American Jewish Committee (AJC) organized Thanksgiving, Diversity and Inter-Faith Breakfast took place. Long Island's two County Executives Tom Suozzi and Steve Levy were the chief guests and the two honorees were Detective Sergeant Gary Shapiro (since 1995 has been responsible for tracking and coordinating Nassau County's response to hate crimes) and Det. Sergeant Robert Reeks (Special Assistant to the Police Commissioner, Commanding Officer, Hate Crimes Unit of the Suffolk County Police Department since 1998).
Most of the 200 or so guests represented various faith-based and community-based social-service organizations. The emcee was the AJC-Long Island president, Mr. Alon Kapen, and the main speakers were the two county executives. When the first speaker Mr. Levy came to the podium, it was not hard to read his mind. It was clear from the get go that he wanted to clear the air with respect to the recent swirling criticism he had received from the media particularly about how his strict take on undocumented immigrants might have influenced the latest hate crime in Suffolk (see Nov. 13 entry).
People listened intently and when he spoke the words to the effect we all need to live in harmony they clapped. Mr. Levy has probably been so hurt by the words in the media he even went to the extent of embracing one and all into the universal brotherhood fold, including undocumented workers. This was a 180 degree reversal from his previous insistence on stopping anybody suspect for the purpose of checking their documents. His last words were that "words have much meaning." How very true! Sometimes, unfortunately, even unintended meaning.
Mr. Suozzi, much gentler these days in his deliveries, was as charming as ever. What I related to most was what he said about the common use of the term tolerance. This had been my take too when it came to tolerance toward differences. I too had always felt differences and diversity must be celebrated. Tolerance was a totally inappropriate term to be used in this context. It was heartening to hear Mr. Suozzi echo my own sentiments.
Among the Indian attendees were a Sikh contingency and a Hindu one of eight people, seven of them known to me, and half of the eight, doctors. It's marvelous that in spite of their demanding profession, the physicians are able to devote so much time to the community.
All in all, it was a wintry but fun morning at a place set amidst the crisp fall scenery of the park. Much as harmony was the theme and many were gathering in different groups later to contribute toward this idea, an air of competition was present among them. However, this was also marked with a commitment to a cause that perhaps included their own self interest in more than one way. We're only human! Some of us do exploit a cause to further our own personal agendas.
Kudos to AJC (particularly to the behind-the-scenes people like Melissa S. and Carolyne L.) for putting together yet another successful event, which has become so much more relevant at this juncture in history where divisions are waiting in the wings to rear their ugly head.
On the downside, the holiday food donations table didn't seem to be overflowing though unlike past breakfasts. Maybe because this time there was a charge for the breakfast, many folks decided that the $20 they paid to get in was good enough and didn't bring any cans as was suggested by AJC.
Ciao!
Ro.
Yesterday morning at Carlyle on the Green, a restaurant in Bethpage State park, the fifth annual American Jewish Committee (AJC) organized Thanksgiving, Diversity and Inter-Faith Breakfast took place. Long Island's two County Executives Tom Suozzi and Steve Levy were the chief guests and the two honorees were Detective Sergeant Gary Shapiro (since 1995 has been responsible for tracking and coordinating Nassau County's response to hate crimes) and Det. Sergeant Robert Reeks (Special Assistant to the Police Commissioner, Commanding Officer, Hate Crimes Unit of the Suffolk County Police Department since 1998).
Most of the 200 or so guests represented various faith-based and community-based social-service organizations. The emcee was the AJC-Long Island president, Mr. Alon Kapen, and the main speakers were the two county executives. When the first speaker Mr. Levy came to the podium, it was not hard to read his mind. It was clear from the get go that he wanted to clear the air with respect to the recent swirling criticism he had received from the media particularly about how his strict take on undocumented immigrants might have influenced the latest hate crime in Suffolk (see Nov. 13 entry).
People listened intently and when he spoke the words to the effect we all need to live in harmony they clapped. Mr. Levy has probably been so hurt by the words in the media he even went to the extent of embracing one and all into the universal brotherhood fold, including undocumented workers. This was a 180 degree reversal from his previous insistence on stopping anybody suspect for the purpose of checking their documents. His last words were that "words have much meaning." How very true! Sometimes, unfortunately, even unintended meaning.
Mr. Suozzi, much gentler these days in his deliveries, was as charming as ever. What I related to most was what he said about the common use of the term tolerance. This had been my take too when it came to tolerance toward differences. I too had always felt differences and diversity must be celebrated. Tolerance was a totally inappropriate term to be used in this context. It was heartening to hear Mr. Suozzi echo my own sentiments.
Among the Indian attendees were a Sikh contingency and a Hindu one of eight people, seven of them known to me, and half of the eight, doctors. It's marvelous that in spite of their demanding profession, the physicians are able to devote so much time to the community.
All in all, it was a wintry but fun morning at a place set amidst the crisp fall scenery of the park. Much as harmony was the theme and many were gathering in different groups later to contribute toward this idea, an air of competition was present among them. However, this was also marked with a commitment to a cause that perhaps included their own self interest in more than one way. We're only human! Some of us do exploit a cause to further our own personal agendas.
Kudos to AJC (particularly to the behind-the-scenes people like Melissa S. and Carolyne L.) for putting together yet another successful event, which has become so much more relevant at this juncture in history where divisions are waiting in the wings to rear their ugly head.
On the downside, the holiday food donations table didn't seem to be overflowing though unlike past breakfasts. Maybe because this time there was a charge for the breakfast, many folks decided that the $20 they paid to get in was good enough and didn't bring any cans as was suggested by AJC.
Ciao!
Ro.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Tools for living the good life
November 17, 2008
The weekend was all about self-assessment and self-exploration at a place called Peace Village (http://www.peacevillage.com/) in Haines Falls, in the Catskills area in upstate New York south of Albany. When one connects with Nature in a pristine setting like the Peace Village's, one is bound to be in touch with the real and the unsullied.
Because it was already dark when we drove up to the Village, we missed the area's beauty of the gorge and the valley, the streams and the brooks and of course totally missed the several water falls on Route 23A, a narrow, winding, hairline-curved road. On our way back on Sunday afternoon, we caught up on all the missed breathtaking sights.
One time, when I witnessed Sunrise that took my breath away at the Grand Canyon, I felt that indeed there must be a God. Something about Nature has this effect on even atheists perhaps. The beauty of Haines Falls has the same effect.
Nestled amidst this is Peace Village where year-long retreats like the one (Confluence: Roots and Wings) we went to take place led by the Brahma Kumaris, an order of women primarily and some men who have embraced a spiritual life, some of them straddling successfully between both the commercially driven market place and the order. The theme of the retreat was the exploration of the confluence of various contradictions at this particular time in history.
For instance, the confluence of extreme material wealth in the world and the gradual awareness of the havoc it can create (however, not once was any of the problems of the world around us like the current financial meltdown was mentioned). The underlying theme as reflected in the title Roots and Wings was how tradition (roots) gives us the grounding to soar into unexplored territories. The stronger one's roots are the sturdier one's wings!
What amazes one about the whole philosophy of the order of the Brahma Kumaris is how they in their every action project abundance. This morning's TV news is dominated by nothing but scarcity (Citigroup is laying off 53, 000 employees cutting down its workforce from 350, 000 to 300, 000), a Saudi Oil Tanker has been hijacked off of Somalia and the speculation is the 25 crew members would be pawns in the demand for ransom money by the hijackers, disaster capitalism (reference: Best Selling Author, Naomi Klein), et al. and I can't stop wondering how the BK's run over 8,500 centres in 100 countires and territories strictly based on volunteerism? Does this story of abundance have something to do with its female leadership and the story of the world of capitalism to do with male leadership? After I wrote this line, I happened to read: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/16/weekinreview/16dobrzynski.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=Maybe+the+meltdown%27s+a+guy+thing&st=nyt
I was right on the money! Amazing how it's women's hormonal imbalance that gets blamed for their "oh-that-time-of-the-month" behavior. I think that now hormone-related havoc created by men can join the gallery of rogues, too.
For some, when they return home such retreats might make them feel depressed as the contrast between the experience in this almost other worldly setting and their real world demands could be stark. But by the same token the retreat also serves as the place where one could pick up the right tools to manage one's worldly affairs smartly. A confluence of the right tools and the life's daily challenges.
Those who have not yet experienced what Peace Village has to offer, they must experience it at least once to see what they are missing. I've been fortunate to have been associated with this group (I'm the kind who's open to learning from all over) for a long time and hope to continue benefiting from my association. The awareness and constant reminder that life could be lived with a sense of abundance as exemplified by the BK's is worth learning. They are waiting to show others how one could. The smart ones among us will take advantage of their generosity.
Ciao!
Ro
The weekend was all about self-assessment and self-exploration at a place called Peace Village (http://www.peacevillage.com/) in Haines Falls, in the Catskills area in upstate New York south of Albany. When one connects with Nature in a pristine setting like the Peace Village's, one is bound to be in touch with the real and the unsullied.
Because it was already dark when we drove up to the Village, we missed the area's beauty of the gorge and the valley, the streams and the brooks and of course totally missed the several water falls on Route 23A, a narrow, winding, hairline-curved road. On our way back on Sunday afternoon, we caught up on all the missed breathtaking sights.
One time, when I witnessed Sunrise that took my breath away at the Grand Canyon, I felt that indeed there must be a God. Something about Nature has this effect on even atheists perhaps. The beauty of Haines Falls has the same effect.
Nestled amidst this is Peace Village where year-long retreats like the one (Confluence: Roots and Wings) we went to take place led by the Brahma Kumaris, an order of women primarily and some men who have embraced a spiritual life, some of them straddling successfully between both the commercially driven market place and the order. The theme of the retreat was the exploration of the confluence of various contradictions at this particular time in history.
For instance, the confluence of extreme material wealth in the world and the gradual awareness of the havoc it can create (however, not once was any of the problems of the world around us like the current financial meltdown was mentioned). The underlying theme as reflected in the title Roots and Wings was how tradition (roots) gives us the grounding to soar into unexplored territories. The stronger one's roots are the sturdier one's wings!
What amazes one about the whole philosophy of the order of the Brahma Kumaris is how they in their every action project abundance. This morning's TV news is dominated by nothing but scarcity (Citigroup is laying off 53, 000 employees cutting down its workforce from 350, 000 to 300, 000), a Saudi Oil Tanker has been hijacked off of Somalia and the speculation is the 25 crew members would be pawns in the demand for ransom money by the hijackers, disaster capitalism (reference: Best Selling Author, Naomi Klein), et al. and I can't stop wondering how the BK's run over 8,500 centres in 100 countires and territories strictly based on volunteerism? Does this story of abundance have something to do with its female leadership and the story of the world of capitalism to do with male leadership? After I wrote this line, I happened to read: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/16/weekinreview/16dobrzynski.html?_r=1&scp=1&sq=Maybe+the+meltdown%27s+a+guy+thing&st=nyt
I was right on the money! Amazing how it's women's hormonal imbalance that gets blamed for their "oh-that-time-of-the-month" behavior. I think that now hormone-related havoc created by men can join the gallery of rogues, too.
For some, when they return home such retreats might make them feel depressed as the contrast between the experience in this almost other worldly setting and their real world demands could be stark. But by the same token the retreat also serves as the place where one could pick up the right tools to manage one's worldly affairs smartly. A confluence of the right tools and the life's daily challenges.
Those who have not yet experienced what Peace Village has to offer, they must experience it at least once to see what they are missing. I've been fortunate to have been associated with this group (I'm the kind who's open to learning from all over) for a long time and hope to continue benefiting from my association. The awareness and constant reminder that life could be lived with a sense of abundance as exemplified by the BK's is worth learning. They are waiting to show others how one could. The smart ones among us will take advantage of their generosity.
Ciao!
Ro
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
