It’s been nearly a month since I posted anything. Anyway, now it’s a new year, so a quick recap of last month if not last year would be appropriate. On a personal note, someone I had known for several decades, along with his wife and two children got killed in an accident in July 2008 when he was on a pilgrimage in India. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/24/AR2008072403593.html. Donations to the Pavan and Sairam Soundararajan Fund can be sent to SunTrust Bank, 9812 Falls Rd., Potomac, Md. 20854.
I miss Raju dearly, particularly today because every year on the 1st of the year he’d phone me or I’d phone him to wish him a happy new year. He was a remarkable human being who had overcome nymerous hurdles in life, to, finally, live a middle class life, and also share beyond his means. God had blessed him with a divine voice, and looks becoming of a movie star. When he sang, it sounded divine--his raga aalapanais were effortless and flawless--and when he talked he sounded so kind because he was genuinely a kind man, who was always eager to help. What I found most exciting about him was, despite life's distractions, he lived life on his terms.
He had come to the U.S. in the 1970’s as an Indian diplomat’s cook. He made the most exquisite dishes. Because of my musical inclination and the fact I sang, he gave me several reel-to-reel tapes of some master singers. After I left Maryland, I lost touch with him, though through the grapevine I heard that for whatever reason, his wife left him taking their baby daughter Padma with her. Today 28-year-old Padma is a lead singer in a band in MD, and she plans to take care of her 12-year-old half brother afflicted with cerebral palsy, while her other surviving autistic half-brother, will be in an isntituion. Raju's diplomat-employer returned to India but Raju stayed back.
After a few years, we Raju and I reconnected and when Raju got remarried, and brought his wife back to the U.S., he wanted me to meet her. So he broke his journey in New York en route to Washington and they stayed overnight at my place. I’ve so many memories of him and I’d never ever forget them. He had qualities that one would want to emulate.
Another person close to me for the last several decades was Dr. Robert Dentler, my mentor and former dean at Boston University. http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A0CE6D8123DF934A35757C0A96E9C8B63.
In April, along with my husband, I went to Bob Dentler's Memorial Service held at the Universalist Unitarian Church in Lexington, MA, where the Dentlers lived. Bob Dentler's distant relative, and my well-wisher from decades ago, Hap Harris was also there. He had traveled from Maryland. Out of the blue, Hap asked me to speak at the Service This came as a surprise but I managed to say the right things and also keep it brief. Only recently, I had gotten comfortable calling Dr. Dentler, Bob. I wept silently at the Service. I knew that I'd miss Bob dearly, an unusual giant (both literally and figurativley) of a man. Had our paths not met, how different my entire life might have been!
Originally, I had met Bob at Hap’s son Doug’s first wedding when Doug was just 18.
On December 14, 2007, Bob’s wife, Helen too died. A year earlier, she had been diagnosed with cancer which went into remission in November and I was supposed to pay her a visit on Dec. 20. On December 8, her son Robin phoned me and said that she was in the hospital because she had developed some complications after her return to Lexington from her Thanksgiving visit with her other son in California and so she didn’t want me to visit her on the 20th.
On Monday, December 15th morning, there was an e-mail from Helen. When I opened it, it turned out to be a death announcement from Robin. My heart broke. Over the years, Helen and I had become friends, too, and she would appreciate every little gift I’d take with me for her every time I went to their house.
She was a Hosmer, a fact her husband felt very proud of. Bob was the son of German immigrants, and Helen’s ancestors had traveled on the Mayflower and in the Concord Museum there are whole sections devoted to the Hosmer family’s accomplishments and their contributions to the then new nation over the centuries.
A week after Helen's demise, I got a call from her daughter Deborah. Deborah wanted to make sure I knew about Helen’s death. She saw on Helen’s calendar that I was supposed to visit her on the 20th. I found out from Deborah that the house had already been put up for sale. Call me creepy, but I did wonder what would happen to the few little things I had given Helen over the years? None of the surviving family would even know who they were from, what special meaning they had for Helen, or even what to do with them. Oh, yes, in November, I had found out from Helen that Bob and I shared the same zodiac sign: Scorpio, and the birth month. Bob’s fell on November 16.
Year 2008 has left a bad feeling in other ways, too. What has shaken me the most is the out-of-control violence in the world with no end in sight. Right now what’s going on in Gaza only increases my fears.
On the positive side, last year, dad had to be admitted to the hospital twice and both times he returned home healthier. The first time was in April when, one afternoon, seeing his face sapped of all color, drooping and angular I called the ambulance. Later we found out that dad had experienced a heart attack. Then in May, on a Saturday morning, my husband, not seeing dad around for a prolonged time checked the bathroom where dad had gone in for a shower earlier . . . much earlier. There, dad, a slightly-built, wiry man, was curled up unconscious on the shower floor. Once again, the ambulance came and he was rushed to the hospital. His sugar level had dropped. Way down.
At the kitchen table, mom in her monotone characteristic of a person who’s going through prolonged, post-angioplasti depression had kept asking where was dad? My husband in his own quiet way had responded to her murmur when the rest of us were "yaking" away.
It’s only the 4th day of the new year but so far it’s been pretty good. The first good news has been to do with dad again. On the 2nd, his pace maker procedure was a success and feeling good, he’s home now.
Hope the year is filled with a lot of good news . . . for all of us.
Ciao! Ro
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment