Friday, July 12, 2013

Support

The class assignment in the Thursday group to be completed in 10 minutes:

Support brings to my mind scaffolding. I don’t like the word support. Support evokes a state of helplessness, a needy state. I don’t ever want to be in such a state yet without the mostly unasked support I got in life, I won’t be where I am. Between getting support and giving I’d rather give. My husband reminds me that we are all interdependent and this is the way it was meant to be. I guess so, and it’s true. Without the wind a bird cannot fly for all the freedom she exhibits.

As a first born I think I have been there for the family more than I might have been had I not been a first born. My husband too is a first born. Maybe, having played a supportive role most of my life I find it hard to be in a state when I am the needy one. Switching gears, I seek the support of my accompanists and that of the audience without which my art may wither out. Without the support of my Monday group I wouldn’t have probably submitted my piece to the Modern Love section of The Sunday Times. I guess, no woman can be an island unto herself. Even if she is, here too the land is supporting her.

Withholding of support intrigues me. There are those who wait for which way the wind blows before they decide to add their support. They have the means but wait on the sidelines because on their own they cannot decide on the merit of a cause.  


The opposite of support is sabotaging. Even friends can be saboteurs. Remember the expression, “with friends like this who needs enemies?”

Ciao!

Ro.

"I have a limit"

Like many things in life, quite serendipitously and thanks to my friend Grace Luis of Long Beach, NY, I recently joined a writers' group that meets every Monday and the first Thursday every month at the Long Beach Library. This turned out to be an experience I wish had graced me earlier. But nothing happens to before its time. Anyway, from now on, I will post some of the stuff I write for the group. Here they come:

For my first Thursday assignment the prompt was, "I have a limit."

Once I read somewhere that until you try the impossible you don’t know what’s possible. In that case, I must be trying the impossible often, especially when it comes to my family, because I have many breakdowns, a clear indicator that I have reached my limit. I have also read that breakdowns lead to breakthroughs and necessity is the mother of invention.  One must constantly push the envelope. In other words, reaching one’s limit may be actually a positive occurrence and how does one really know one’s limit until one is face to face with it? And then the bigger challenge is how to overcome the limit? Or can they even be overcome?

True that I might be aware of my limit with respect to mountaineering skills, or, my running abilities, or even my level of tolerance for “nonsense.” Yet, only by pushing ourselves do we also push the limit we might erroneously set for ourselves. Yet, stepping outside one’s comfort zone is hard but walking away from a challenge is also no less hard. Oh, all these eternal dilemmas one has to deal with. To push or not to push!

In some cultures, being a female is a limitation, being a minority is, the corporate glass ceiling is, the biggest kahuna of them all, death is a limitation but if we are focused on the limitations, the world would come to a standstill. It’s those who push the limits who move the world forward. Even conclusions which seem rock solid at one time and thus seemingly end further exploration turn out to be outdated once these foregone conclusions are challenged and new discoveries are made.  This is when a flat world becomes round.

All don’ts, cant’s and all other ‘nts  are someone or yourself putting a limit on you. Don’t question authority is my favorite. Ha! Limits are often imposed on us because this is one way the self-centered remove competition. But the worst limitation is the one we put upon ourselves. We do this because of the fear of failure or laziness or some kind of previous bad experience. The once bit, twice shy factor.

My conclusion is that the only real limit we have is the limit we put on ourselves and the limit imposed by death, of course. In some belief systems even death is not a limitation.  As long as you have unfulfilled desires and urges to conquer the limits you perceive, you will come back to this earth to see all your dreams through.


Are limits ever good, though? Yes, they are. This is why we secure a crib with rails and have a brake in our vehicles to quote just a couple of examples. Overeating and boring conversation must have a limit.   But overall, “I have a limit” is a crippling thought and we must try all we can to reach our full potential which must be our last frontier. No other barrier should be. Being at the top of our game must be the goal we need to set for ourselves and this goal actually delimits all our limitations. The peak of the mountain top must be the only limit we must accept. That is the only true limit. Where else can one go after reaching the summit? The sky? Oh, yes, of course the sky is the limit.

Ciao!
Ro.